BBQ Across America

1. Never try to tell the griller how to do his or her craft.(a pair of tongs can be very dangerous when used properly)
2.Do NOT try to sample the meat before it is served.(have you ever tried digging a two-prong fork out of your skin)
3.Never put ketchup on a grilled hotdog unless you want to be seated out back with the other critters.
4.Do not be seen drinking your beer from a glass.This will lead to instant expulsion.(tossed out on your rear)
5.Absolutely never show up at a BBQ with a bottle of wine. Beer or sweet tea is BBQ fare.(save that wine for your next romantic evening back at the trailer)
6.Be social. after all a BBQ IS a social event.(sittin in the corner by yourself is inviting the serial killer label)
7.NEVER go into the host or hostess house to use the bathroom without first asking.(unless you wish to lose something very important to you)
8.Do not under any circumstances utter the three most disgusting words to cross a BBQer's ears "I'm a vegetarian".(this is a hangin offense in some circles)
9.Never ask the cook if they could use some help.(cook will spend rest of the day muttering under their breath "If I wanted you're damn help I'd ask for it)
10.Always remember to invite the neighbors.(if the former vice-president of the United States can "accidentally" shoot someone and get away with it, don't you think it would be even easier for your lounge chair loving neighbor)