BBQ Across America

Some BBQ jokes and stories pulled from the world wide web.

It's Barbie Time
I was waiting at a customer services station at Asda when a woman in front of me was returning a disposable barbeque. When asked why she was returning the barbeque, she replied, 'There was no meat in in it'

The shop assistant patiently explained that the disposable barbeque was simply to cook the meat and it did not include any food. Whereupon, the customer looked very embarrassed indeed.

The assistant checked the receipt and asked: 'There are 3 barbeques on here, are you returning the other two as well?

'I can't', said the woman, 'they are at home in the freezer'.

Debra Hails, Hartlepool.

Stupid Joke: BBQ Butt
Ted and his wife
were working in their garden one day when Ted looks over at his wife and says: "Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big! I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue."

With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom.

"Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!!"

The wife chooses to ignore her husband. Later that night in bed, Ted is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

She answers: "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"


As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks.

Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block.

All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street, where we found the owners of the blazing house standing by helplessly.

They glared at us with looks of disgust.

Suddenly, we realized why………we were all still holding our roasting forks with marshmallows on them